playstopMinus the Bear - Pachuca Sunrise

I don't expect to see you every free moment you have. I don't expect you to put your friends second to me. I don't expect to you to check in with me every single time you go out. But I do expect you to keep your word. I expect you to know better than to make plans with me and then go out LATE the night before. I know you haven't hung out with him in a while. Honest to God, that is fine by me, go hang out with him, but I would've rathered you cancelling our plans to hang with him. Instead you had a pretense of "Yes, you'd be able to get up to come see me." I know it's not easy to come see me, I know it's a hassle, esp. having to get up that early. I would've understood.

And I feel I keep wasting my efforts for you.
Time and again shit happens and things don't go according to plan. I know, but you should also know this could've been prevented.

Pass?

And then you went back to sleep. If you were tired, just tell me so. Tell me you're going to sleep so I don't think, "Hmmm maybe he's fucking with me and is trying to surprise me." Coz when you do that, I assume. And when I assume, I make an ass outta you and me. So ultimately I guess it's my fault.

I'm starting to get tired of people.

If you tell me your problems and ask for my opinion, I'll give you my honest opinion as a first and foremost an outsider, and then as a friend. Admittedly it doesn't come out as eloquently as I imagined and comes out rather harshly, but that is only because I'm telling you exactly everything that is coming to mind.
I'm tired of feeling attacked by people who come to me for help. I'm saying what is on my mind with intention to help, not hurt you.
And the moment you attack me for giving my honest opinion, I will no shit snap back. You get mad at me for cutting you off? Boy, you don't fucking realize you do that shit to me. ALL. THE. TIME. And the only reason I fucking cut you off is because you are justifying yourself, and I have already acknowledge that! I KNOW why you doing it, but I still believe that you're wasting your time.

YOU come to ME with YOUR issues, asking for my help and the moment I say something you don't want to hear, I'm the bad guy?
That shit is fucked on all kinds of levels.

Then there are those who turn to me when they say "I've got no one else." And I'm there to listen, talk, whatever you need. But the moment shit gets better, I'm suddenly invisible, right? Well that's how it feels sometimes.

You wonder why I don't have many friends? Coz they come when they need me and leave when they don't. They disrespect me and when I put them in their place, I'm the one in the wrong. People are hypocrites, only difference is, I acknowledge my own hypocrisy when present.

Tonight is just one of those nights.

I have been feeling so spent. Like, I'm always restless, always tired but I can never get back to sleep when I wake up. I think the 10-10MW, 1-9Tues schedules are starting to hit - and it's only the third week of school! WTF (exhaust)(sweat)
I've actually gotten a good amount of things in the mail, but I'm far too lazy to take pictures of them: just a g-market order and sasa.
But I won't leave yall with a boring pictureless post.

Lookit these cute little paper holder things. I pretty much bought it just b/c they are super cute. But I justified it with the fact that I do need to separate my papers from each class, and this will help me be more organized. Haha (sweat)

And lookit this! I bought these b/c I really just wanted to know what they were. I initially thought they were little pen refill things. But when I got home and opened it up, I realized that they are actually really thin pens! Super cute!! (adore)~ Like, you'd think that they're shitty pens, but they're actually really smooth and pigmented. (stars)

But most importantly, my boyfriend's car broke down last Friday (disappoint). It's especially upsetting for me because he was driving up to come see me. /sigh. Like, if he wasn't coming up to see me, his car wouldn't have broken down. Not only that though, but it seems when things go bad for him, things go BAD. His car broke down, then his phone was acting up and he couldn't make calls for the dang tow truck. He was lucky to have even been able to call me! To admit, at first I thought he was fucking around and so I wouldn't take him seriously, but then I'd tried to call/text him and he wouldn't answer. So my paranoia starting taking over. I was all like, "What if he's stranded and he's getting robbed right now, all because I thought he was messing with me." So then I started to freak and like a reliable girlfriend I drove down to get him. It was my first time driving on Cali freeways (content). Reason being, my car has a messed up axle and a bunch of other kinks (it's a '93 Corolla, yup that baby is frikkin 18 years old). Plus, I just get anxious driving anywhere, especially by myself. /shrug. And then when I actually got there it took a couple of HOURS just waiting for the tow truck (annoy).
But truthfully, it wasn't a big deal for me, especially when I saw my boyfriend. He told me, "You know how girls always talk about guys being their knight in shining armor? Well today you were my knight in shining armor." And that really just made my day. I know that he'd do whatever he could in his power to help me when I'm in need, and to be honest, he's always done everything himself (it's just in his nature to not ask for help sometimes), and I was very much happy to have been able to help him. Ok, enough of that.

playstopMinus the Bear - Excuses

OOTD

• Ruched sleeve turtle neck
• Striped sweater dress
• Basic black leggings
• Knee-high boots

So the first week of classes are over. I've gotten into the groove and since I've a giant break in between, I've been shopping (disappoint)(sweat)

FOREVER21 + THE BODYSHOP

• Gray bow romper
  I thought it was a dress when I picked it up, really lightweight and I think it has a really romantic feel to it (adore)
• Misc things just b/c I thought it was cute: blotting paper (I really wanted it more for the little compact mirror, but it was broken when I checked it at home (sad)) and a mascara. Not much to say about the mascara /shrug
• A couple of rings: fox, bow, & mouse ears
  (They're all really shiny, I bet a couple months from now I'll be lookin at them like, "Why did I buy these?" but as of right now I absolutely love em!)
• Eye shimmer: 01 & Eye colour: 45
• Love Gloss: Natural
• Lip Liner Shade: Nude
• High Shine Lip Treatment: Red Beam (stars)

I also went down to SC yesterday to surprise my boyfriend (smitten)

He made me some fried rice with no rice (sweat) It was still super yummy though! (exhaust)

Little baby Maks is actually pretty big now. Can you tell he's being difficult and wouldn't take a decent picture? Hahah. He wouldn't play with anyone, just lazed around the whole day.

Ughhh so in the previous post I mentioned being jittery about going to school. I just get very anxious. Today, I had to drive so, my nerves were all over the place. I didn't even finish my lunch coz I was so anxious. Good thing I was able to find parking. That's really the main thing that bugs.

Plus, I'm in my Flash class and I don't know how to turn on the comp. Too embarrassed to ask anyone...

So school starts tomorrow. And just thinking about attending class again is giving me the jitters. I actually really like school, but it's at the point and it's just like "What am I doing with my life?" (disappoint) Not to mention all the professors want you to introduce yourself on the first day and I abhor that part of the day (yuck) But, if I go in late I'll get the shitty seat, or no seat at all. But if I don't go, I'll be dropped and we can't have that.
Gosh, I've got the jitters.
10-11, the 6-10. Big ass break, yea. That's what happens when you don't sign up for classes on time (sweat)

ON ANOTHER NOTE
New layout. Kinda ghetto'd some aspects of it. The archive list, due to scripting conflicts, don't work appropriately and won't collapse, thus, I've made them collapse when the mouse hovers over the link... Also when they collapse, they move things around, which is really annoying, but I'm not really sure what's causing that. Otherwise though, I'm happy with it, mainly because it was coded with the "new" template. I feel like there were other issues, but the archives thing is what bugs me out most. (annoy)

playstopArmin Van Buuren ft. Laura V - Drowning

I haven't had such an amazing summer as this passed one. And this is to the summer.

Pass?

To the to the sunsets that became sunrises, to the silences that were filled with laughters, strangers that became family, to the hearts that were filled with memories and to the photos that will be a reminder of unforgettable moments.

Pass?

I'm not the most jolly person to deal with. I have brat-like tendencies and extremely, unattainably high expectations. I complain about practically everything and shoot down all your ideas, even when you're tryna help me solve said problems. I sometimes go overboard with my jokes and sometimes make you feel as though you're an inadequate boyfriend. I tend to put my best friends and family before you, and we've both agreed that in this relationship you love me more, and probably will always love me more than I can ever love you. I take more than I should and give less than you deserve.
But you're still here. You've always been here.
And sometimes it may seem like I'm nonchalant when it comes to our relationship, but in truth, at the end of the day, I want nothing more than to drift to sleep in your arms, every night, for the rest of my life. Kuv hlub koj. (smitten)(adore)

That's right yall. Today is my boyfriend's and my 3 year and 4 month anniversary. He came to surprise me :)
We went to grab breakfast with a couple friends and then he and I went to PetCo to lookit the hamsters. I adore hamsters (heart) We picked up some stuff for Maks, our cat and when we got back to the car, his car was dead and wouldn't start up! We called up his lil bro and got his to jump his car. Poor boyfriend got late to work though I think (sweat)
But ANYWAYS, after coming home, my day was ruined. I needa give yall a bit of background first, just to show the dynamics of the friendship, so ok. We met in highschool and had mutual friends, but we weren't friends ourselves. The year prior to last, I lived in TN and I met this friend again, let's call him Mike. So Mike is a good friend of my ex and so that's another thing that kinda affects our friendship, but that's not the point. Mike and I were really good friends that year, but nearing the end of the year, he started to become really needy and acted as though I was obligated to hang with him and just, I dunno, he took a lot of my jokes personally, but wouldn't tell me they bothered him until he was really fed up and then he'd throw it all in my face and so I just kinda stopped feeling that closeness of friendship with him.
That year when I came back to Cali, he was deployed and so I barely talked to him. Coming back from TN this passed summer, I haven't texted him or anything, kinda slipped my mind. But he hasn't tried to contact me either. And just earlier I saw him on AIM so I aimed him.

• [17:00] Mike: hey
• [17:00] Mike: whats up
• [17:01] imctina: nothing chillin you?
• [17:02] Mike: bout to head out
• [17:02] imctina: boo alright i guess imma catch ya another time then?
• [17:02] Mike: you can text me
• [17:03] imctina: your phone works?
• [17:03] Mike: yea
• [17:03] Mike: when hasnt it work?
• [17:03] imctina: oh iono haha
• [17:03] Mike: sounds like an excuse to me (It was at this moment I started to get offended)
  
• [17:03] imctina: whoa whoa an excuse to do what
• [17:03] imctina: ?
• [17:04] Mike: an excuse on why you havent talked to me since you been back =(
• [17:04] imctina: you havent talked to me either..
• [17:05] Mike: because i been so upset that you been gone that i filled up my time with other stuff
• [17:05] imctina: THAT sounds like an excuse
• [17:05] Mike: its true
• [17:06] imctina: and its true that I legitimately thought your phone wasnt workin

Like... really? Maybe I'm making a big deal about it, but when someone belittles my efforts as a friend, that makes me belittle theirs and I honestly felt he was attacking me. Like if I was trying not to talk to you, I wouldn't have aimed you in the first place and we wouldn't ever talk, seeing as how you never make an effort to text, aim, or facebook me.
Like if I consider you my friend, that really is saying something, b/c believe me, I've been backstabbed and treated poorly by way too many times that I take it seriously when someone questions my friendship. That pretty much makes me reconsider where I stand in the friendship and makes me question your place in my circle of friends.

This'll be a rather quick post. I'm feeling kinda lazy to talk as I usually do. But anywho, yesterday I had a date with my BFs, boyfriend and bestfriend. We went for some Burma Superstar. Food was alright, though I wasn't too fond of the dessert. I can't remember what it's called, but it had bananas and I think that's what ruined it for me. Then my awesome boyfriend (who keep in mind, has been up for 24hrs at least) drove up an hours drive, took us to eat and then drove back down another hour and half or so to the beach!

Poor Tou fell asleep on my at the beach (adore)

After he woke up gave him a little rub on his neck and found that he had forgotten to take the tag from his shirt off (smitten)

Like sometimes I don't even wanna deal with my eldest brother. He's so damn stuck up sometimes, I can't ask a simple question without him makin me feel like my question was dumb.

He's been back from Japan for the past 3 weeks or so and is leaving tomorrow. He decides to buy a shit load of Ghirardelli chocolates for his coworkers/students. So I'm watching my momma pack his chocolates and I ask him, "Aren't you worried your chocolates are gonna melt?" And he says to me, "There's not much I can do about it." with the most matter-of-factly, no-shit-you're-so-dumb tone and I'm just like wtf? (annoy) If you were smart about it, you wouldn't have bought some damn chocolates to bring back to your posse, in the middle of summer!

But it's not just that though. Like, I swear, he goes outta his way to make me feel bad and make me feel like I don't belong. He treats me so damn differently than he does my other siblings. He treats me like an outsider and doesn't even make an effort to talk to me. It's upsetting, yea. But honestly at this point I'm just apathetic about the whole situation. He doesn't want me in his life, I won't try to keep him in mine. (apathy)

So, it's probably been a bit overdue now, but I think I really needa save up for a new laptop. So a bit background: Gateway MT6459, Windows Vista purchased in August 2007.

Yea, I've had it for awhile (sweat) Now, I love my laptop. It's reliable, for the most part. I normally use it 10hrs + everyday (not good to be in front of a comp for such an extended period of time, I know). Even if I'm not physically in front of the comp using, I usually have music running from it, so it's pretty much always on. All my friends who received a laptop coming into college have needed a laptop replacement/part replacement after their 2nd year at latest. Me? None. You know the blue screen of death? I've had like 9. Aside from the annoying random shutoffs (after one shutoff, it will stay on without a problem for the rest of the day) and the incessant whirring of the fan b/c of the laptop's inability to cool itself down, I've had no problems. With that said, I think my poor thing has finally had to give up on me (cry) It's just faded out on me. Usually, when it shutdown down it blanks out immediately. This one was rather slow, more of a "'I can't go on' at the climax of the movie" fade out (disappoint) Not just that, but it won't start up at all now. I mean it does, but then it'll do the fade out again. I guess the time had to come, but.... man. It was so... not unexpected... just disappointing. I thought the time was upon me, so just earlier today I backed up my files onto my ehd (tire). Man...

EDIT

And then I remember I got a netbook. But its capabilities are rather limited and slow.

So I've been really wanting some new blue contacts. The old ones I had were good, but they looked gray most of the time, even when you were face to face with me, depending on the lighting. They seldom really look blue. I can't, for the life of me, remember which brand/series they were though (sweat)
But these are the ones that I've been eying in particular: neo 4 tone queen blue
They don't seem to come off as the type of blue that I'm looking for either, but they do still look bluer than the ones I had prior so that's definitely a plus. Also, I like the inner yellow-y/brown color b/c I think they'll blend better with my eyes, since my natural color is a brown. I have a pair of, I think, geo tri color gray and I love em, so hopefully, if I do get these four tone ones, they will have the same effect as the geo tri color. Although, posting this also reminds me that I've been wanting to post up reviews about my current contacts since I do love em a bunch!(adore) We will see though, I've been kinda tight on money and I know I need to start saving up, just to have something to fallback on. Coz lemme tell ya, my fallback net is fulla holes (sweat). Woe is the life of a poor college student who is the product of a superficial, materialistic society.

So I was in the process of resizing my pictures for this post when my doorbell rings. My brother opens the door and I've got some packages! (love) They're some gifts from Tou. He just outta the blue told me that I should expect something in the mail, a week or so ago, and afterward I was very on edge and kept bugging him about it. He wouldn't tell me what he had gotten me until a couple days ago, we were on the phone and he had a personal emergency to attend to, but I wouldn't let him off the phone until he told me at least one of the things he got me. So he told me some house slippers. Hurray! I've been needing some! But anyways, so I open up my packages and he got me some Hello Kitty house slippers as mentioned, a Hello Kitty stuffed toy, and a Hello Kitty keychain. (smitten)(stars) Can yall tell I love Hello Kitty? (excite) I will post pictures later, along with a couple other purchases I had gotten a few days prior. But right now, Tou and I had a date (was supposed to be dimsum for breakfast, but Touster overslept) so I've gotta pretty myself up before he realizes what he's getting himself into. (content)(sweat)
EDIT (8/12/2011)
So on Tuesday, I hung out with Kelly, my best best friend ever. No pictures from that day, but I do have a photo of a couple things I bought.

A Domo id holder (which I intend on using as a mini wallet/clutch thing (sweat)) and an adorable squishy turtle keychain. As much as I do like it though, I'm going to give the little guy to a good friend of mine who I will see this weekend. She loves turtles, so hopefully she'll like the keychain.

No OOTD from the day of, but it was really simple. A blue 3/4 sleeve shirt, black cardi over when it was a bit chilly, skinnies and black flats. I wanted, though, to highlight and show off my skinnies b/c I think they are the most fabulous skinnies. Fit-wise, they could be better, the material is kinda loose, but the detailing, I'm in love with. It's got little brass studs leading into the front pocket as well as a branding on the belt loop on the back of the jeans. I think these jeans are just the bees knees. They're not like crazy bedazzled, but they're fancy enough to not look boring. (adore)

Then yesterday, I had a mini date with Touster. We went to eat sushi and played videogames with my brother. I love that we don't have to do anything and can just bum around, and he's okay with it! (smitten) But first, the pictures of my gifts that came in the mail earlier that day.

Poor Tou didn't want me to know how much he had spent, but b/c he bought me HK stuff, the price of the item is on the tag itself. The keychain is so much love!! (heart)~ Just cannot express how much I adore it!

We got lunch at Mijori. I was kinda not feeling sushi, since Kelly and I got it a few days prior, but it was still pretty yummy. We ordered the Rainbow roll, Bay Scallop, Ninja and Philly. Ninja was yummy, Rainbow was alright. I felt that either the fish wasn't too fresh or something, but it kinda had a weird taste. (yuck)
Went to Tapioca Express before we went back to my place. Bought a drink for everyone and shared Tou's. He had an almond milk tea or something, it was super sweet! Sweet drinks are hit-and-miss for me, depends on my mood, and that wasn't the business, but it did the job as far as quenching my thirst whilst playing Scott Pilgrim (evil)

OOTD
Loose top, black highwaisted skirt, dolman sleeve cardi, sheer bow tights and basic flats.

I don't know what it is about this photo, but it's definitely my favorite.

This reminds me of Ponyo. It's so pretty and serene.

LOL my boyfriend.
He was following a pigeon around with his arms extended, as though he was going to pick it right up. (love)(adore)